Ugh ...

In have not been feeling well over the last few days.   I've been so tired and a bit dizzy.  The tired is not the the normal tied people feel but it is the fatigue that only those with diseases

like I do can understand. I know that I wouldn't have understood.  I did not understand and I still wish that I didn't understand.  It could be worse. I remember waiting to see the neurologist, waiting to see what was wrong with me.  I knew it was something, I knew it wasn't good.  I kind of knew it was going to be Multiple Sclerosis, but there was still a chance it could be something else like cancer.  I was relieved that is was MS, but also a little disappointed.  I hoped maybe I was wrong.  Maybe it was some simple that could be cured with medication or surgery.  But

no it was MS which is to date an incurable disease.  The only medication available is only to help prevent it from getting worse.  The only surgery available is not available yet in Canada as it has not gone through clinical trials.  The surgery is actually for chronic cerebrospinal venous insufficiency (CCSVI) which is thought to be the cause of MS in some people.  I know that people are getting the surgery now, going out of the country to get it.  I think it is an exciting break but I just don't feel that it is the right step for me at this time. I think maybe it will be someday but I want to wait and see what the trials determine.  I worry that it will be one of those things that

everyone thinks is a miracle then find out later that made things worse.  I see that happen all the time where suddenly people are being told that they can get involved in class action law suits regarding surgery or treatment they had done that is now causing them to either have a new medical issue caused by the treatment or the treatment just made their illness worse than it was so I wait.  I just wait. 

And now I am going to take a nice nap.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." ~Mary Anne Radmacher

No project will be left finished ...

... This is contrary to what you might have heard before but for me, with piles of things I started but never finished, it seemed apt. 

We are again at the beginning of a new year and I find that the blog I started in 2010 has 2 prior post.  That right folks that means one post a year.  The good news is that no one reads my blog, lol.  The only habits/hobbies I seem to stick to are photography and over eating. It would be lovely if I could have the ability to do the things that I want to do and keep doing them for more than a week or two.  Maybe that is what my goal of this year should be, but it's not.

My goal this year is just to take better care of myself.  It's not so much about losing weight, but rather it is just to feel better.  If I can attain this goal it will no doubt lead to weight loss but I'm less focused on that, and more focused on feeling good.  No feeling gross or bloated or sick ... just feeling comfortable in my skin.  It is more focused on my health.  My goal this year is also to do the things I love more often than I did last year.  I love my cottage, and I should visit there more often.  I love going on drives, taking pictures, going on day trips and things like that.  So that is my "resolution" for 2012.

So here are a few pictures I took over the year.  I love seeing the world through my lense.  :)

I love how some times during the year you can see the moon during the day in a bright blue sky.  I was drawn to this shot since the mood was virtually full and you can see light clouds in the sky around the moon.  

Nico finds some truly comical places to sleep. This pose seemed to defy gravity, lol 

I spent quite a bit of time on the beach at my camp this year.  The waters were calm at times with water in the back of the beach, a place we called the "salmon hole" so calm the water looked like glass and other times the water was rough and foaming .

Around thanksgiving the beach saw some pretty rough water. The waves pounded the shore and sprayed up and kept my face and hair damp. 

"Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night."

~Mark Twain

It's a new year ...

Welll a new year is upon us.  My resolution last year was to take a picture a day and it was fun but I'm not going to do it again.  There were just some days that I didn't see anything new and interesting to take a picture of so I ended up with a lot of pictures of my cat. (mind you I think he is a beautiful boy) or the moon.

The shot of my cat was taken Dec 12, 2010.  The shot of the moon was taken on Nov 26, 2010.

Some days something would catch my eye and turn into a picture that I really love. 

It is amazing how you can see somthing every day and then suddenly the urge strikes you to point the camera at it. Some times the urge doesn't turn out like I hoped but then other days it does. 

  

Like most of my pictures this is a shot of an every day scene in NB, this shot was taken in Saint John on December 19. 

We had a green Christmas this year.  Which disappointed me but I woke up on boxing day to SNOW! It make me pretty happy to see and it finally felt like Christmas for me.  This picture was take on December 26, 2010 out the window of my parent house.

For 2011 I haven't made an official resolution but I  plan on being the best "me" I can be.  I know that sound corney ... but its the truth.

I realized recently that I am 38 yrs old  and I really don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  I have a wildly broad range of interests but I really don't put myself out there to experience them at their fullest ... I'd like to design clothing, or at least restyle exisiting pieces.  I love vintage fashion but I don't own any.  I love to decorate, and yet my own home is not decorated.  So I hope to do something about these things this year ... stay tuned.

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends."

~Richard Bach

A picture is worth a thousand words ...

I've always wanted to do a blog but have never done it.  I just thought, who would read it?  Then I thought does it matter?  It occurred to me that it didn't matter really as long as I enjoy doing it ... I hope others will read and enjoy it in some measure. So here goes my first attempt ...

At the beginning of 2010 I started doing a photography project.  So with camera in hand I decided to tackle the year.  I decided that I would take more pictures, specifically I would take one picture everyday of things that speak to me.  I wish now that I started this blog then so that I could have used this forum to post my pictures and talk about them a bit.  With that in mind I thought I would go back in the last couple of months of my favourite pictorial moments.

July 29, 2010 -- It rained and I mean the sky opened and it RAINED.  I was home feeling bad for myself (as I just lost my job due to corporate restructuring) so I grabbed my camera and went outside.  I was soaked to to the skin but there is something about rain that makes me feel good, like the world is washing away your troubles.

August 14, 2010 -- I was driving home from a family picnic at just the right time to catch the sun setting on the Loch Lomond Lake (and yes I know that loch actually means lake). I thought it was so beautiful. I love the way this picture turned out.

Until the next time ... "We only part to meet again."  ~John Gay