Ugh ...

In have not been feeling well over the last few days.   I've been so tired and a bit dizzy.  The tired is not the the normal tied people feel but it is the fatigue that only those with diseases

like I do can understand. I know that I wouldn't have understood.  I did not understand and I still wish that I didn't understand.  It could be worse. I remember waiting to see the neurologist, waiting to see what was wrong with me.  I knew it was something, I knew it wasn't good.  I kind of knew it was going to be Multiple Sclerosis, but there was still a chance it could be something else like cancer.  I was relieved that is was MS, but also a little disappointed.  I hoped maybe I was wrong.  Maybe it was some simple that could be cured with medication or surgery.  But

no it was MS which is to date an incurable disease.  The only medication available is only to help prevent it from getting worse.  The only surgery available is not available yet in Canada as it has not gone through clinical trials.  The surgery is actually for chronic cerebrospinal venous insufficiency (CCSVI) which is thought to be the cause of MS in some people.  I know that people are getting the surgery now, going out of the country to get it.  I think it is an exciting break but I just don't feel that it is the right step for me at this time. I think maybe it will be someday but I want to wait and see what the trials determine.  I worry that it will be one of those things that

everyone thinks is a miracle then find out later that made things worse.  I see that happen all the time where suddenly people are being told that they can get involved in class action law suits regarding surgery or treatment they had done that is now causing them to either have a new medical issue caused by the treatment or the treatment just made their illness worse than it was so I wait.  I just wait. 

And now I am going to take a nice nap.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." ~Mary Anne Radmacher