Ugh ...

In have not been feeling well over the last few days.   I've been so tired and a bit dizzy.  The tired is not the the normal tied people feel but it is the fatigue that only those with diseases

like I do can understand. I know that I wouldn't have understood.  I did not understand and I still wish that I didn't understand.  It could be worse. I remember waiting to see the neurologist, waiting to see what was wrong with me.  I knew it was something, I knew it wasn't good.  I kind of knew it was going to be Multiple Sclerosis, but there was still a chance it could be something else like cancer.  I was relieved that is was MS, but also a little disappointed.  I hoped maybe I was wrong.  Maybe it was some simple that could be cured with medication or surgery.  But

no it was MS which is to date an incurable disease.  The only medication available is only to help prevent it from getting worse.  The only surgery available is not available yet in Canada as it has not gone through clinical trials.  The surgery is actually for chronic cerebrospinal venous insufficiency (CCSVI) which is thought to be the cause of MS in some people.  I know that people are getting the surgery now, going out of the country to get it.  I think it is an exciting break but I just don't feel that it is the right step for me at this time. I think maybe it will be someday but I want to wait and see what the trials determine.  I worry that it will be one of those things that

everyone thinks is a miracle then find out later that made things worse.  I see that happen all the time where suddenly people are being told that they can get involved in class action law suits regarding surgery or treatment they had done that is now causing them to either have a new medical issue caused by the treatment or the treatment just made their illness worse than it was so I wait.  I just wait. 

And now I am going to take a nice nap.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." ~Mary Anne Radmacher

No project will be left finished ...

... This is contrary to what you might have heard before but for me, with piles of things I started but never finished, it seemed apt. 

We are again at the beginning of a new year and I find that the blog I started in 2010 has 2 prior post.  That right folks that means one post a year.  The good news is that no one reads my blog, lol.  The only habits/hobbies I seem to stick to are photography and over eating. It would be lovely if I could have the ability to do the things that I want to do and keep doing them for more than a week or two.  Maybe that is what my goal of this year should be, but it's not.

My goal this year is just to take better care of myself.  It's not so much about losing weight, but rather it is just to feel better.  If I can attain this goal it will no doubt lead to weight loss but I'm less focused on that, and more focused on feeling good.  No feeling gross or bloated or sick ... just feeling comfortable in my skin.  It is more focused on my health.  My goal this year is also to do the things I love more often than I did last year.  I love my cottage, and I should visit there more often.  I love going on drives, taking pictures, going on day trips and things like that.  So that is my "resolution" for 2012.

So here are a few pictures I took over the year.  I love seeing the world through my lense.  :)

I love how some times during the year you can see the moon during the day in a bright blue sky.  I was drawn to this shot since the mood was virtually full and you can see light clouds in the sky around the moon.  

Nico finds some truly comical places to sleep. This pose seemed to defy gravity, lol 

I spent quite a bit of time on the beach at my camp this year.  The waters were calm at times with water in the back of the beach, a place we called the "salmon hole" so calm the water looked like glass and other times the water was rough and foaming .

Around thanksgiving the beach saw some pretty rough water. The waves pounded the shore and sprayed up and kept my face and hair damp. 

"Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night."

~Mark Twain